Ephesians 3 - Ever get the feeling you're slowly becoming Rev Run?

Whilst traveling on an old public bus through the mountains of Madagascar last November, God began to speak to me about Ephesians 3. This is an amazing passage about the vastness of Gods love, and each time I read it I feel as though he reveals a little more... Because the entire expance is far beyond our comprehension. The Galifreyan tradition of staring into the vortex of time itself breaks and shapes the person that each time Lord is to become, because what they see is far bigger than what they are able to comprehend (you knew Dr who reference or two was inevitable). It's impact alters lives and creates perspective. God's love is infinitely greater than the comparibly miniscule vortex - revelation would be annihilation. And so, he reveals it to us one manageable human step at a time. One giant step for man, one timid shuffle in the grand perspective.

And today it wasn't even the whole chapter that spun me into this writing frenzy.. it wasn't even a whole verse, it was this simple line...

'And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love...' (Ephesians 3:17)

Rooted and established.
Grounded, strengthened, founded, fed, nourished, held and maintained. All that we are, grown from a foundation and understanding that we are loved.

When a person feels loved, they feel secure and they grow and thrive in other areas of their lives. We feel assured in our identity because someone outside of ourselves is able to love the person that we are, approval needed. When we try to find our security else where we limit ourselves. Money, work, home, possessions all give the illusion of security... The human picture of security is a prison. Trying to secure yourself in these things only builds walls that restrict - securing yourself in the assurance that you are loved breeds roots that feed life and growth.
                                    

Human copacity for love is limited. Trying to establish yourself on this alone is like planting your tree in a plant pot - right concept, same limits. God's love is the only source big enough to fulfil each person, when you secure yourself and your identity here, other relationships will flourish.

Take down the prison that obscures your perspective. Plant yourself in his soil.

Where is your temple?

I stand here in a temple of deception. Surrounded by idols, people worship a distortion of the truth. It is important to remember:

God became man - but man is NOT God.

But judgement is never our cause, where is our own motivation? In so many cultures today, ego holds the wheel in a pursuit of affirmation and 'success'. What are we truly living for?

I refuse to live as a slave to my own ego. Question perspective and acknowledge motives. Live each day for the right reasons, accept that we don't have all of the answers and step out on the waters.

Wake up, take risks and embrace the FULL potential!

Exodus 20:3 'You shall have no God's before me.'

Impacted.

Alex Hurry you were one of the most incredible and unique people I have ever met, and not a day goes by where I don't miss you.

I dont ever intend to forget you, to move on, or to live as though you never impacted my life. You taught me that people aren't as strong as they would like the world to think. As 'playing it cool' continues to make the world ever colder, you were one against the crowd. What many see as weakness, you wore as strength. Openness. The boldness to be yourself and an inability to hide your feelings from the world. You were you, humbled and broken, and you didn't conceal that from anyone. You let people in, all the way in. Our culture is driven by individuality, possession and independence. A self-centred notion, that in the end can only leave us feeling alone.

You were dependent, but I wasn't dependable. Change has to start somewhere.

Slow to judge, you took the time to listen and care. What you heard made an impact. You allowed yourself to take on the feelings and others, and bring yourself to their level. Whether you could help or not, simply knowing that you were there made life that bit easier. But now there's a void where solice was found.

Ever since that day I've been tearing myself apart, replaying situation and circumstance.

A cyclic process makes no progress. I need to break out of this and I know that's what you'd want. Every day I'm faced with your picture on my phone and Facebook and it feels like I'm having the wind knocked out of me all over again. I reread conversations and replay songs. 'I hope that you remember me.'

I don't ever intend to forget, and I don't ever intend to move on, but I want to live in the positive impact that you had on my life. It's time to take a step forward. You've taught me to stop and take the time for the people around me and not to take any friend for granted. You showed me that it's okay to be broken sometimes, but we need the strength to move on. Every time I watch my favourite movies, listen to my favourite bands or read my favourite books I will be reminded of you. A loving man of impeccable taste.

 'There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West. Some courage and some wisdom, blended in measure. If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” - Gandalf the Grey.

Three months ago I would have been inclined to judge and slander at a piece of writing like this. Society teaches us to hide behind an image of success, putting our self worth in the hands of others. But I'm done hiding.

I want to be able to be as open and loving as you were every day. Your strengths will be my inspiration. I promise to try my best never to let anyone down the way I did to you.

I'm so sorry Murreh.

 I love you x

22 Reasons why I love and miss you daily.

22 Reasons why I love and miss you daily.

1, Your pretteh face

2, Your girlish squeels

3, Your wild beard

4, Being as readable and open as a book

5, Being my piercing twin - and forgetting and re-realising with the same enthusiasm over and over

6, Your ability to never judge the ones you love

7, Your confused little face

8, Your willingness to help in any situation (provided it involved minimal physical strain)

9, Your sense of humour

10,Your exquisite taste in films

11, Your impeccable taste in music

12, Your record breaking laziness

13, That fashion sense

14, The fact that a friend could never impose

15, Your hugs - despite my awkward resistance

16, Your university kitchen cupboards - NOODLES.

17, Your well disguised geniusness (it's a word)

18, The fact you never ever got mad or shouted at me - even when I really deserved it

19, The way you always made me feel welcome, even if I knew no one else in the room

20, Because you were always only ever a phone call away

21, Teaching me the art of Werging

22, Being Murreh - My Hurry

Happy birthday Murreh, love Mabbeh

For Alex Hurry. 'There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West. Some courage and some wisdom, blended in measure. If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” - Gandalf the Grey.

I've tried over and over to start writing something, anything, to try and convey how much you mean to me. I spend half my time writing and yet when it comes to something that means so much, I'm completely lost for words. 

I'm so grateful for every last ridiculous memory that I have with you. I may be a useless wanderer who can't sit still, but something - everything about you kept me gravitating back.

Some people grow up as friends, some achieve friendship and some have friendship thrust upon them. You certainly had this friendship thrust upon you. But, despite our blunt beginnings, you were to become one of my closest friends. 

The loyalty and love that you have for your friends is a trait rarely seen in such purity. I feel I can speak for many when I say it is an honour to have known and loved you. 

I remember being horribly nervous, before asking if I could go to Download with you for the first time. Looking back, that makes me smile. The relief when I realised you were just as excited by the idea as me! 

It is no secret that Download Festival is the highlight of my year. Those five days in a field with you and my Southern family are favoured above any international adventure.

You are one of the most amazing people I have ever met. Gentle and compassionate, hilarious and endearing. A rare combination of humble intelligence and unrefined childish humour - everything was of interest, from a Hurryward perspective.

Although we discussed the likelihood of being descendants of Dwarvish blood, I have recently concluded that your lovable foolishness is paralleled only in Hobbit tendencies. It was a dangerous business indeed, stepping outside the front door with you, I had truly no idea where your navigation would take us!

I'll never forget trying to direct you out of Sheffield

'Take the next left.'

'Okay.'

'I meant the next left that's a road, Hurry...' - as we pull into a car park.

Costco, Corp or McDonald's, every outing was an adventure, although tent shopping was probably one of my favourites. 

'Big enough for two air beds', Anna requested. 'At least a four man', were her conditions.

We were ALL OVER the situation. Equip with an expired Go Outdoors card and envisaged air bed parameters we set forth into the camping shop. We tested every show tent in town, lying side by side 'be the air bed, BE the air bed!' Success! We purchased a tent that was both roomy and stable - Anna approved.

Werging, probably our favourite pass time. A simple yet consistently hilarious art, of which you will forever remain undisputed Jedi master. My Hurry - my Abi; Murreh and Mabbeh. It makes my stomach sick to think I'll never hear you say that again.

I miss your southern accent - almost as much as I miss your northern one.

I miss your unique logic, and the way you always knew just what to say.

I miss your 'southern lessons' - how you would read children's stories to help me practice understanding you... then get yourself confused by the inevitable plot twist.

I miss your flowery shorts - florts, and your never ending patience.

I miss knowing you're just a phone call away.

Alex Hurry, I miss you. 

We all do.

There will never be anyone quite like you.

 I love you Murreh, find peace, where ever you are.

Madagascar - Photos to come when laptops are a thing.

Despite being at full capacity, when the courts decided to send 17 new girls the doors were open wide - wide enough to fit 17 mattresses through, as the living room gave way to the new dorm room conversion. This is a perfect example of the welcoming family atmosphere at Iris Madagascar. Eager to get involved, Maria and I baked banana cake for everyone at the welcome party. With her 100% baking success rate and my 100% baking failure rate, I can confidently conclude that all of our baking complications were entirely her fault. No one's perfect.

The base is now home to 103 children, ranging from the ages of four months to eighteen years. On top of this the centre also provides:

- A lunch program for around 200 local children three times a week.

- A weekly milk feeding program for new mothers.

- A community program giving out rice and funding for education to struggling families.      

-A ministry to the children living at the rubbish dump, complete with doctor and medical assistant.

All of this whilst running one of the most successful home school programs this side of Ferris Beuller. 

When striving to meet every physical need in the area by all means humanly possible isn't enough, faith steps in to bridge the gap. Just the week before I arrived, a blind woman and her son came to the centre looking for medical care. With the doctor away, Julio offered an even better solution - prayer for complete healing. She left with fully restored vision and a grin on her face, enjoying the beauty of a son she hadn't laid eyes on in years. Miracles happen. 

For the last ten days of my stay I abandoned the visitor's centre. The guard's loyal pet rooster manned the gate, whilst he fashioned my suitcase as a hat up the hill to Caroline's house - I guess wheeled bags aren't in this season. 

Life with Caroline and her two year old daughter Esti is how I imagine the existence of an off-duty Disney princess. Even in the power cuts when the storm 'raged on' the musical show did not falter. And to think, I hadn't even seen Frozen before I lived the sound track that week. 

Keeping the balance in my sanity was her 13 year old son Andry. His schooling in the ways of Dragonball - Z enabled the student to briefly become the master in the realms of PlayStation on my final night. (I beat him once).

Throughout my time in Madagascar I had the honour of tutoring 17 year old Sarobidy. This kid is incredible. For the first few days we followed the course of his school books, spending our afternoons pausing and puzzling over trivial grammar points. I apologised on behalf of the rebellious nature of the rule defiant English language, before requesting that we diverge from the book in favour of more engaging methods. He agreed. The afternoon that followed was probably the highlight of my trip. That's right - conversation that ranks higher than a selfie with a lemur. Through basic English, doodles and charades I told him a story from my life, challenging him to repeat the tale to practice the new language, such as 'fear', 'cow' and 'crash'. My part over, it was time for him to take centre stage. The following hours were spent in laughter, understanding and borderline tears on my part as he shared accounts of his childhood with me. Whether what he told me that day was true or false I neither know nor care - this kid is an inspiration and a constant reminder that there's a plan at work in all of our lives. 

This is just one example of the 103 awe inspiring children on that base! I had so much fun playing with them each day, I love every single one of them!

Before I went to Madagascar the only insight I had lead me to anticipate an island run by musical lemurs and militarised penguins. And that's exactly what I found.

Joking aside, Madagascar rarely makes our news in the west, but the truth is that horrendous cases of organ trafficking is on the rise. During my time there six children were taken from a local school, tragically their bodies were found a few days later - organs removed. The threats drew closer to home when an desperate and enraged woman from the surrounding village burst into the centre, screaming at the children and threatening to come back for their hearts that night. She was dragged to the village chief and taken away, not before hurling more abuse and even biting Caroline. 

As is to be expected, emotions were high after this. When rumours of more threats reached the base the next day everyone was quick to react. I was on my way back from the girl's house when Andry came flying down the hill past me, a huge kitchen knife in his hand. I shouted him over, making some idol quip about running with scissors - he let the awkwardness slide and blurted out a panicked report of a planned attack the boys centre before running off to find his mum. Within minutes we were busy moving and carrying all 103 children across the village to the safety of the missionary's houses. 

Fortunately nothing came of the new threats, and the village chief agreed to have police walk by the centre at intervals that night. When it comes to the lives of these kids every precaution is worth taking. Unfortunately security costs money and extra guards are a further expense, but we have faith in a greater  protection.

Nothing can break the spirits here and my send off was one fit for a PHD. Best goodbye EVER!! Thank you Iris Madagascar, I miss you! 

The Force is strong in this one - Matola Rio, Mozambique.

Motion, being in motion. An object in motion will stay in motion - unless there is a force strong enough to stop it. Matola Rio? The force is strong in this one.
In fact, aside from Download Festival, which unfortunately does not offer permanent residency, I'm not sure I've ever felt more compelled to stop 'being in motion.'


From the moment I arrived I was made to feel like part of the family. Before I was even out of the car I was taken by the hand and brought to join the action. Introductions, games and several new abstract hairstyles later, I joined them for dinner. Kids grow up fast here, and they had nailed the meal time procedure. Within moments plastic chairs and tables filled the yard and the singing commenced, as they sat down to eat together. 


From the very beginning I was amazed and inspired by these kids. In the evening worship they prayed into their own situation, asking God to protect and heal them from the many diseases in the room. If there's one thing I will take away from this week, it's that if God healed the lepers, he can cure HIV. 
So much happened in this one week that I feel like I was there for at least three. Culture shock was not an issue, I love their relaxed approach to life. As in many countries, the roads have a culture all of their own. They hold no boundaries, quite literally, 'sidewalks' are any man's land. Where to ride? There's no limitations, front seat, back seat, boot, grandma's lap, take your pick. And why choose one? As our mini bus pulled up to the toll booth, Natasha joked that Joao was a terrible passenger driver, so he simply slid open the door and swung around the outside and into the seats behind us, reclining with a smile across his face. Not an eyelid batted nor eyebrow raised.

I was asked to teach an English lesson to the older boys, and so we met in the church hall after dinner one night. Lacking in everything but benches and paper, this is certainly thousands of miles from the privileges of Pangbourne College. And yet, we had just as much fun playing games and hanging out together.

I have discovered it to be universally true, that C + T(X) = S. By which I mean, hand a gathering of teenagers your camera and it will inevitably result in selfies. Many, many selfies. 
Little ones. They're a whole different species. But as you may recall from my experiences in 'Nam, they're not as intimidating as one first expects. Although, football makes for a challenging ordeal, apparently taking the ball from one triggers their inbuilt facial sprinkler system... Avoid this at all costs, the off switch is as clear as Swedish flat pack.
That said, I love them all. They're amazing kids who find fun in everything from an old tin can to a ripped trampoline.

It's been interesting trying to build relationships on minimal mutual language. Practical things, like card games and football go a long way. I'm yet to mention Corrie and Helenia, I could probably write an entire book of appreciation and admiration for these two, but I'll spare you the brain space and instead direct you to the website I've been working on, if you're interested in their story.
I have a feeling this won't be my only visit to Matola Rio, but as a wise Jedi master once said 'Difficult to see. Always in motion is the future...'